Tag: eye surgery

Blurry

A couple of years ago, I had to a take a brief hiatus from the blog because I was recovering from eye surgery.

After my eye healed up, I foolishly thought that I would not have to worry about my vision until I was well into a bitter, memory-addled old age where everything on the body starts to go and I begin ranting about how kids today are disrespectful brats who don’t wear any damn clothes.

But that was before I found out that eye surgery weakens those orbs floating in your head. As such, your odds of suffering something as random and bizarre as say, a retinal detachment, greatly increase.

And so when I started seeing floaters and bright blue flashes, I figured that it was not God passing along visions and premonitions to me. It was indeed my retina detaching.

My surgeon says that I caught it in the nick of time. Apparently, I was about two days away from going permanently blind in one eye. If I were a traditional Latino guy who never went to the doctor, that would have happened.

But I seem to have gotten it fixed. It’s too soon to tell, but the prognosis is good.

In any case, my retinal detachment is the reason why the posts may become more irregular over the next few weeks. I’m hoping to maintain a regular schedule, but I can’t promise.

At the very least, my misbegotten retina has prevented me from attending local Latino happenings. For example, I was going to write a truly witty and insightful piece about the National Pork Board’s recent contest, where several Latino chefs got together to dazzle epicureans by showing off everything they can do with pig.

I was invited to cover this event, but I declined because I had a checkup scheduled. My doctor wanted to see how the retina was healing up, and we spent time reminiscing about how he stuck needles into my eye — good times.

So all I can tell you is that the post covering the contest would have been full of insights about the importance of food in Hispanic culture, and loaded with funny and/or poignant quotes from the winner, and layered with Seinfeldian jokes about how much Hispanics love pork. Oh, and there was going to be this truly amazing metaphor that would have singlehandedly gotten me shortlisted for the Pulitzer. Trust me, it was gong to be spectacular.

Instead, I missed it, and I’m stuck squinting at the computer.

Damn my eye.


Los Ojos Have It

I’m recovering from eye surgery this week (a fun yet gruesome experience that I recommend for everyone!).

Because it gives me a headache to look at a computer screen for more than a few minutes, I’m just going to write a quick post to catch up on some items that have moved faster than the speed of blog.

First, Father Cutie has left the building. As I noted in a previous post, the Hispanic priest with a winning smile and a way with the ladies (or at least one lady) had put the Catholic Church into a tough position. Should they punish him for breaking his vow of chastity, at the risk of alienating his large Latino fan base, or should they just let it slide, thereby looking like a bunch of weak-willed moral relativists?

Well, Father Cutie made it easy on them by leaving Catholicism and joining the Episcopal Church. I don’t know anything about the teaching of Episcopalians, but they apparently allow their priests to marry, which should please Father Cutie. Actually, that should please anyone who is not totally repressed, but let’s not kick the Catholic Church while it’s down.

As an interesting side note, the archbishop of Miami said that Cutie “is still bound by his promise to live a celibate life…. Only the Holy Father can release him from that obligation.” Well, good luck with that one, archbishop, because it seems that Father Cutie released himself (so to speak) a long time ago.

Secondly, let me thank everyone who commented on my post “A Nation of Laws?” including my old friends Macon D and Raul Ramos y Sanchez. As I mentioned before, Macon D’s blog is stupendous, while Raul Ramos y Sanchez’s powerful writing has provoked the kind of crazy hate mail that I dream of receiving. Maybe I’ll get there someday.

Finally, let me add that my last piece “Some Friendly Advice,” got my biggest response to date on the Huffington Post. Thanks to everyone who commented. I am still, however, lagging in popularity behind my new nemesis Jaime Lee Curtis. So let’s get those comments flying people, so I can take down the “Trading Places” star.

But later – right now, my eyes hurt.


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