If the woke mob is indeed coming for you, they are taking their damn time.

You see, everyone from smug governors to elitist talk-show hosts to beleaguered cartoonists insist that rich white men are being canceled, with hordes of liberal aggressors poised to crush conservatives beneath an avalanche of stomping Birkenstocks.

But in truth, you are far less likely to encounter a woke mob than you are, say, a pack of snarling fascists with bullhorns screaming threats.

Yes, recently a crowd of “neo-Nazis in Florida yelled, ‘Heil Hitler’ and harassed Jewish residents during staged protests.” The white supremacists felt perfectly comfortable parading around in public, shouting insults and brandishing swastikas, in a state where that aforementioned smug governor has refused to condemn Nazis.

This was also around the time that some rando Gestapo lovers proclaimed a “National Day of Hate” that put law enforcement “across the nation on high alert.”

OK, so Nazis are happily prancing down the streets and issuing death threats without fear of repercussion. But that’s as far as it goes, right?

Um… no.

There is the even more ominous fact that a homeschooling network in Ohio is creating and distributing lesson plans based on Nazi ideology, which are then presented to children as educational materials. The network has over 2,400 members.

The founders of the Dissident Homeschool network include a Dutch immigrant who says she is “deeply invested into making sure that our child becomes a wonderful Nazi.”

I’m absolutely certain that there is no such thing as a wonderful Nazi. 

But while we’re discussing these homeschooling parents who shriek about the “dangers of diversity and how Indiana Jones movies are nothing more than Jewish revenge porn,” let me ask the following:

Whatever happened to the argument that immigrants have to assimilate to American values? 

I suppose that rule is waived for Dutch immigrants, by virtue of their blond hair and blue eyes. Or maybe Nazism has become enough of an American value, beloved as it is by so many citizens, that this immigrant is indeed assimilating.

Just ask the “neo-Nazi leader [who] planned to attack electrical substations encircling Baltimore and ‘completely destroy’ the entire city.” He likely considers himself a patriot. He is one of the many “domestic extremists who have openly advocated targeting a vulnerable power system.” This tactic is a central pillar of a “white-power philosophy called ‘accelerationism,’ which wants to destroy society and replace it with one based on their racist ideologies.”

Keep in mind that a new study shows that “domestic extremist mass killings have increased greatly in the past 12 years,” but that this increase is almost exclusively a conservative phenomenon. For example, “all the extremist killings in 2022 were committed by right-wing adherents, with 21 of 25 murders linked to white supremacists.”

Furthermore, the “number of U.S. mass killings linked to extremism over the past decade was at least three times higher than the total from any other 10-year period since the 1970s.” And you guessed it, “the main threat in the near future will likely be white supremacistshooters.”

Of course, there is an international element to this madness as well. It involves climate change, which is not just the main threat to humanity’s existence, but a prime recruiting tool for Nazism.

Damn, how does that work?

Well, as global warming heats up the planet, more climate refugees will be forced to leave their countries. And those nations accepting refugees will have plenty of “right-wing politicians who see both a threat and an opportunity.” These politicians, who “feel emboldened to portray migrants as a threat to national identity,” will ramp up the xenophobia, garnering more votes from easily scared white citizens. It will also lead to more young white men becoming Nazis, but hey, that’s not the problem of conservative demagogues hustling for votes, is it?

In any case, we face a future where white supremacists are trying to destroy America from within, and Nazis are making a comeback in every industrialized nation on Earth. 

Suddenly, the woke mob doesn’t seem so bad.