Hispanic Fanatic

Yes, we all know that it has been an abysmal year. A lethal, chaotic, maddening, insane year, so ghastly and crushing that the phrase “2020” will no longer cause people to think about the gauge of perfect eyesight or the TV newsmagazine from the 1980s.

When we hear “2020,” we will think of Trump and coronavirus and George Floyd and fights over facemasks and botched coups and protests in the street and fear and anger and confusion and the days that merged into one another as we huddled in isolation.

Basically, nobody will ever refer to this era as the good old days.

But before you say goodbye to this nightmarish year, grab a souvenir of 2020.

I have co-written a collection of short stories, and the book is now for sale on Amazon and elsewhere.

“Feed the Monster Alphabet Soup” is sort of Edward Gory for adults, with stories about a third grader who confronts the devil, an insecure superhero who can’t handle stress, a newborn who sells her placenta to the highest bidder, and other twisted tales.

So if you want to know what to do if you just start floating into the sky one day, or how to handle it when suburban gossip inevitably morphs into a grenade-heavy firefight in the cul-de-sac, pick up a copy here.

Thanks

Yes, 2020 is an election year. Also, an impeachment year.  And possibly the end of civilization as we know it if we don’t finally get serious about climate change and the surging menace of neo-fascist racism.

But you know the really big development of the year thus far? That’s right — I have a new book out.

My latest novel is a sequel to my first book, and you can grab a copy here.

What’s it about? 

Well, The Bridge to Pandemonium furthers the adventures of Abraxas Hernandez, reluctant detective, and it will inevitably be the greatest Latino-themed murder-mystery black comedy that you will read this year. Here’s summary:

It was supposed to be an easy assignment. But when Abraxas Hernandez gets hired to follow a cheating spouse, somehow the whole situation devolves into a grisly murder. Hey, it happens. So Abraxas and his partner (and ex-girlfriend) Vic start investigating, only to encounter a freaky hodgepodge of suspects — including a band of religious zealots, a Marxist stripper, and a pair of secret government operatives who communicate mostly via veiled threats. Oh, and there’s also that frazzled tech millionaire who just can’t stop kidnapping people. In their quest to solve the murder, Abraxas and Vic shatter alibis, dodge bullets, and slam the occasional tequila shot. But when they discover the secret behind the gruesome crime, they learn the full scope of the terrifying scheme that has ensnared them. Plus, some other people start getting killed, and that is not cool at all.

Pick up a copy today. And thanks.

I know what you’re thinking.

The Hispanic Fanatic has been around for over ten years. How can I best mark this milestone?

If only there was a way to read the site’s best articles without digging through page after page of archived material.

If only I could get all the best posts in one convenient, elegant, snazzy book.

If only someone would provide a quick link to that book, which is guaranteed to be a best seller.

Well, guess what?

There is.

You can.

And I have.

Yes, I’m happy to announce that my latest book is now available at Amazon and other retailers. The Hispanic Fanatic: A Decade of Rants, Raves, and Uncomfortable Truths is a collection of articles that I’ve written over the last 10 years for my site, the Huffington Post, Enclave, and other outlets. Plus, there’s some new content in there too.

I painstakingly culled about 70 percent of this posts that I have written over the years, to come up with the top 30 percent or so of what I’ve written, and the result is this book. Along the way, I killed dozens of darlings and rediscovered some articles that look positively prescient now.

It’s a little odd reliving 10 years of your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and experiences. But hey, it’s been a decade in the making.

You can pick up a copy in paperback or on Kindle.

And just in time for Christmas.

This week, we celebrated our nation’s founding. So while you are still in the warm glow of heart-swelling patriotism, cast an early vote for the next president. And never mind the fact that he is a bloodthirsty maniac leading an army of the living dead.

Yes, my novel, Zombie President is now on sale for a limited time. You can grab a copy for just 99 cents by clicking here.

And when you read the book, consider how much worse off this nation would be if the president were a flesh-eating ghoul with an insatiable appetite for destruction.

Actually, that’s a debatable point…

In any case, Zombie President will be on sale this week only, so claim your copy now. Thanks.

Yes, I missed my deadline.

Originally, my latest novel was supposed to come out by Inauguration Day.

Well, that didn’t quite happen, due to formatting issues, real life getting in the way, and precious writing time eaten up ranting about the shit show that has become the Trump Administration.

However, I’m pleased to announce that my newest magnum opus is finally available.

Part reflection of our times, part freewheeling weirdness, and part inevitable novel from a guy who loves horror movies — it’s Zombie President.

What’s it about?

Here’s the back cover copy:

A defeated presidential candidate comes back from the dead to take the White House by force — and to win the country’s heart in the process.

Samuel Tilden never won the presidency when he was alive, but now that he’s a rampaging ghoul, the American people are enthralled with the power and tenacity of his undead army. Fawning media coverage ensures that the zombies’ bloody march to Washington D.C. goes unchecked. Meanwhile, an ambitious television reporter, a small-town sheriff, and scientist with a dark secret join forces with a trio of backbiting teenagers to fight for their country.

Zombie President is a black comedy about the twisted conflux of politics, journalism, and American culture… and getting the kind of leaders that we deserve.

As you can tell, it would have been perfect to release the book on Inauguration Day.

But two months later… well, it’s still pretty ideal.

So if you like my posts, or like metaphorically heavy horror-comedies, or just like stories where the undead devour the brains of the living, pick up a copy of Zombie President today.

Then head over to Amazon and tell everybody what you think of it.

Thanks.

So I had my first author reading, and I think it went well.

I read excerpts from my novel Barrio Imbroglio, which as you know, is burning up the best-seller lists in 148 nations and causing rioting in the streets of cities whose bookstores have run out of copies.

And just in case you didn’t know that, you can always get it on Amazon.

In any case, everyone who showed up at the reading seemed to have a good time, and my only negative feedback was “Next time, speak slower.”

Yes, as a Latino, I speak rapidly. So that’s something to build on for my next author event, which is in the planning stages. I’ll keep all of you posted on that.

The only odd moment of my first reading was when my hosts wheeled out a cake that had been decorated with the book cover and my author photo (because, hey, why not?). A few people seemed overly enthusiastic to handle the knife and slice into the image of me. And several clamored for the right to devour the eyes.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into that.

Regardless, here is a shot of the piece that displayed my eyeball in frosting.

Yes, I may have the cover of my next novel here.

So I’m trying something different for my next novel. Instead of releasing the whole book months from now, I will serialize the story online as I write it. Each week I will post a new chapter, for you to read for free. If you like the story, spread the news to your friends, and maybe buy a copy of the book when it’s done. The chapters will all be short and easy to read online.

The novel is called Zombie President, and it’s about a defeated presidential candidate who comes back from the dead to take the White House by force and to win the country’s heart. Yes, it’s a bit crazy, but ultimately, the book is a black comedy about getting the kind of leaders that we deserve (especially relevant this year).

You can read the first chapter here, with new chapters coming every week:

Let me point out that my approach to this novel is positively Dickensian (he serialized his novels in newspapers). And that’s good enough for me.

By the way, here is a sample line from Zombie President:

“You know, I really hated my parents. But seeing my dad’s head get eaten by a zombie is a bit extreme.”

So whether you’re intrigued or repulsed, check it out. Thanks.

So at long last, I can announce that my novel, Barrio Imbroglio, is available in old-fashioned, hold-it-in-your-hands, flip-the-pages glorious paperback.

The book is a dark-comedy mystery about a reluctant detective named Abraxas Hernandez. It’s been available as an e-book for while (in places like here and here).

But now you can snag a copy in paperback form (just click here).

Having the novel exist as a physical book means that, should you run into me on the street, you can thrust the novel into my hands and demand that I autograph it, including the phrase, “To my biggest fan and greatest influence.”

Yes, you can’t do that on a Kindle.

My new novel has been out for about three months now, and it continues to provoke people to run shouting though the streets about its greatness.

OK, maybe that isn’t happening everywhere, but I assure you that I exaggerate only very slightly.

In any case, I must inform you that my novel, Barrio Imbroglio, is now available on Smashwords (you can snag a copy here). Also, the book will soon appear on Barnes & Noble’s site, as well as iTunes.

So clearly, you are out of excuses not to buy it. And don’t forget to join my email list so that I can let you know when the inevitable sequel comes out.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the book.

For the homophobic, Confederate-flag-waving guy who hates Obamacare, it’s been a tough week.

I’ll have more to say about these whiplash changes that are gripping America, and I’ll try my best to avoid gloating.

But that’s in the future. For right now, let me indulge in a little self-promotion.

First, there is my initial interview as a novelist. I’ve been interviewed before for my blogging and article writing, but this was the first one where I got to say the phrase “my book.” Anyway, here it is:

Second, there is the interview I did for my old friends at Being Latino. It too was about my novel Barrio Imbroglio. You can find that here:

And lastly, there is the interview I did for the Kindle Chronicles. This one is a podcast, so you can hear my voice and everything. Crazy! That one is here:

I’ll be talking more about my book soon. But in the meantime, I’ll be busy sending out rsvps to all the gay weddings I’ve been invited to.

It’s gonna be a fun time.