Hispanic Fanatic

So the authorities have captured the person who allegedly shot that fascist guy last week.

And it turns out the shooter is a gay Latino Muslim immigrant who is chairman of his local antifa chapter.

Wait a second, let me check that. No, he is yet another socially isolated, angry, young white man who grew up in a household that fetishized guns and worshipped the Republican Party.

I know you didn’t see that one coming.

Even though the shooter is not the dark-skinned foreigner that conservatives were literally praying for, that hasn’t stopped them from vowing vengeance. 

Republicans are compiling lists of people who have not expressed the minimum amount of mourning for a bigot that the GOP deems adequate. This is because the Republican Party is against cancel culture and believes strongly in free speech. Yup.

Also, the Trump administration is threatening progressive organizations, because this murder has given them the excuse they have been dreaming about. The White House says unspecified groups face unclear consequences for undetermined crimes. I’m sure the Trumpists will be thoughtful and well-reasoned in their approach. After all, this is the team that just blows up ships in international waters for the hell of it.

And of course, right-wing militants — who need a reason to get violent as much as fire needs a reason to burn — are ready to attack. Even more than usual, these lunatics are prepping for full-on warfare. And as we know, even though conservatives deny it at every turn, right-wing violence is exponentially more common and catastrophic than left-wing violence.

In the midst of all this conservative sturm und drang, myriad conspiracy theories have popped up. Because they must. Seriously, if there has ever been more fertile ground for conspiratorial nonsense than 21-st century America, I would like to know.

The assassination is rumored to be the work of a dark cabal, or an inside job, or the work of a Satanic liberal cult, or simply enough, the Jews (who wind up as the villains in every conspiracy theory). Some internet nutjobs insist the shooting was fake, and that the fascist guy didn’t die at all. I’m surprised that nobody has insisted that it was an elaborate suicide — yet.

With all this mishmashing of fact and fiction, progressives find themselves in an odd place. For the first time in, well, maybe forever, misinformation is beneficial to liberals.

This is because the shooter does not fit the easy profile of an ethnic minority gone savage, or a crazed immigrant out for blood. Again, he’s a native-born white guy who was raised Republican. This background has led to conjecture that he fired that shot as the opening salvo in a right-wing civil war. We’re hearing about internecine conservative plots and online mutual trolling and groypers, which is a term that I resent I had to learn.

Again, those who hate liberals will not care what the facts are or the truth of what actually happened. But painting this murder as the work of unhinged liberals is already failing because of the shooter’s profile, the swirl of misinformation, and the absence of clear facts.

For the first time, liberals can say, “That’s not what I heard” and offer up their own crazy story that may or may not be accurate.

No, that is not good for society. But it may help to keep progressives alive.

By the way, we should note that the fascist guy rose to fame by demonizing immigrants and ethnic minorities. He devoted his career to spreading hatred of “the other” and convincing white people that they were under attack by swarthy foreigners speaking bizarre languages. Until his dying breath, quite literally, he insisted non-white people were violent and dangerous.

And then a white man shot him.

That’s proving your hypothesis wrong in the most tragically ironic way possible.

America has strange taste in folk heroes. For example, let’s say some random guy shoots a businessman in the back. We might call this first-degree homicide.

Or we might rejoice in this killing because the victim was an oligarch. Hell, we might sell merch that celebrates the assassination. 

Some leftists might call this the first shot in a revolution. Others might find the killer’s smile charming.

And yet others (ok, just about every American) might point out that the victim was emblematic of a diabolical, soul-crushing, life-endangering, shockingly corrupt, highly destructive, and straight-up evil scheme called the health care system.

So I guess that makes it ok to kill him, right?

Of course, it’s a good thing you told me the shooter was a hero. Otherwise, I might think that this nutjob was yet another white guy raised in extreme privilege who encountered some pain in his life and therefore felt entitled to unleash suffering on those he felt were responsible.

I might think how odd it is that a black man who is being a nuisance can get choked to death on the subway, and we say he had it coming. But a good-looking white guy can literally murder someone in the street, and we’re all like, “Hell, yeah!” 

I might think it’s bizarre that we are so inured to gun violence that we shrug at bullets slicing through the air of America’s largest city in broad daylight, with the assumption that “another day, another shooting” has become our national mantra.

Finally, I might think the Trumpian era has so warped everyone’s minds that even liberals are deliriously happy about political violence, and thousands of people revel in murder over social media, and hypocrisy mixed with sociopathic disdain has become a mindset to be admired rather than rejected.

I might think all that, but what do I know?

I’m not even a folk hero.

Look, we can all agree that some people just need killing. It’s common sense and not controversial in the least—nope.

OK, the idea of executing individuals you disagree with might strike you as bizarre, deranged, antithetical to American values, a conduit to chaos, and a powerful indication that society is collapsing.

But you’re not a Republican.

You see, the GOP has always had a violent streak. Witness their love of war and propensity for calling in the cops to bust some heads. But in the Trump era, this predilection for bloodshed has become overt and integral to the conservative brand.

It’s not surprising that a political party that welcomes Nazis would eventually embrace thuggery. But this trend has accelerated since the rise of Trump, a man who has never been in a fight in his life but who loves to act the tough guy.

The MAGA movement’s “violent threats are warping life in America,” and “there is no question that Trump has so normalized calls to violence as an instrument of politics that it has inflamed countless people to perverse action.” 

GOP leaders have encouraged right-wing vigilantes to “take matters into your own hands” and advised their supporters to “strap on a Glock.” Conservatives have issued death threats, attacked progressive protestors, and expressed a great willingness to commit violent acts to get their way. Over 40% of Trump supporters “are open to violence from ‘true American patriots.’”

Now, you might think that acquiescing to the demands of these gun-toting goons would protect you. But giving in to bullies just makes them bolder. So now even Republicans are feeling the wrath of the easily provoked. 

GOP members of Congress have resigned out of fear for their lives, and the threat “of physical violence from Trump supporters has kept certain Republicans” from criticizing Trump. In fact, Republican state legislators “reported seeing a greater increase in the ‘volume of abuse’ than Democrats.” Republican officeholders are often targeted “by the party’s far-right for refusing to back extreme positions.”

So whimpering, “But I’m a Republican” will not save you from the billy clubs.

Looking at all this data and anecdotal evidence, combined with our knowledge of how conservatives rioted when they lost the last presidential election, it is a given that there will be political violence if Trump loses in November. Actually, there will likely be political violence even if he wins because, hey, why not?

Until then, we will go on pretending that the GOP is a stable political party, devoid of violent tendencies, while we explain to kids that some conservatives just want to bomb their library, and that’s perfectly normal.

Yes, there’s nothing to worry about here.