Early in our relationship, my last girlfriend received some advice from her mother. The cautionary statement came when my girlfriend informed her mother, a white Midwestern housewife, that I was Hispanic.

“My mom said, ‘Just remember. Those Latins love you, and then they leave you,’” my girlfriend told me.

That girlfriend is now my wife. As of last week, we have been together for 17 years. It’s clear that if I plan to love her and leave her, I must really be fucking with her head.