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Cavalcade of Chaos

Apparently, a huge percentage of the country is nostalgic for pandemics, riots, and economic collapse. 

The GOP — long a bastion of gaslighting and swift-boating — has reached a new pinnacle of triple reverse psychology by proclaiming, with straight faces all around, that Americans were better off four years ago than they are now.

That would be 2020, widely regarded as the most hellish year in modern American history.

However, Republican zealots are not alone in their assessment of the recent past. Lots of Americans misremember that horrific time as the good old days, mystifying the rest of us who wonder how any sane adult who lived through the Trump administration can say, “Let’s do all that again!”

Make no mistake — if that black-hearted neo-fascist wins the election, we can expect more than just a rerun of bigotry, fraud, incompetence, and rage. No, it will be a lot worse.

You see, the first time around, Trump “accomplished close to nothing because the people around him were either too inept to put his vision into practice or too skillful at blocking him to allow him to put his vision into practice.”

But if this jabbering sociopath gets another shot at the Oval Office, the “available supply of serious, qualified people willing to serve … has dwindled.” He will appoint lapdogs, cronies, lunatics, and losers whose only qualifications will be how much they hero-worship the orange messiah.

As such, we will get immigrant roundups, a national abortion ban, accelerated climate destruction, massive corruption, more right-wing judicial activism, the increased denigration of science, and economic calamity. And that is just on the domestic front. We’re not even getting into the Russia-Ukraine war, the Gaza war, North Korean belligerence, and China’s dominance. All that will get worse as well.

Consider that a second Trump term would mean the possible death of American democracy itself. The man is quite open about his desire to become president for life. It is not hyperbole to state that “there is a clear path to dictatorship in the United States, and it is getting shorter every day.” The presumed Republican nominee’s “threat to democratic institutions and the rule of law is not a matter of conjecture.”

His second-term policies would be based solely on revenge, cruelty, and self-aggrandizement. 

But hey, maybe eggs will cost a little less. So it will totally be worth it, right?


DEI DOA

Recently, America has endured many disasters: killer blizzards, innumerable mass shootings, governmental dysfunction, and a psychopathic bigot leading in the polls.

But conservatives have identified the culprit for all these and every other issue. They know the main bad guy vexing this nation and unleashing infinite misery upon our country. Yes, I’m talking about diversity.

You see, the Supreme Court’s decision to end affirmative action didn’t quite make America safe enough for white men. So now conservatives are unleashing their ire on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives. These are the often half-assed attempts that institutions make to include ethnic minorities in their systems.

Conservatives see these programs as unconstitutional and immoral. I assure you that it is completely coincidental that these are among the only areas of American culture where white men are not in charge. Yup, conservatives are taking a completely principled stand… ahem.

In any case, when Boeing airplanes came apart in midair, most experts pointed to “the weakened regulations on Boeing thanks to more than $65 million in lobbying efforts.” 

But conservatives weren’t so easily hoodwinked. They shrieked that airplanes were disintegrating because that’s what happens “when you’re focused on DEI and maybe less focused on engineering and safety.” 

Now, I could point out that “this narrative has no basis in fact” and that Boeing is not “particularly diverse, either at the workforce level… or on the corporate ladder, where the overwhelming majority of executives are white men.” No matter, it must be the fault of the stray black executive or that Latino engineer who clearly didn’t belong there.

Now, commentators have pointed out that “right-wing media figures have also erroneously blamed last year’s train derailment in Ohio and the collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank on DEI initiatives,” despite the fact there is zero evidence for that. In truth, many of the catastrophes occurring in America are taking place under the leadership of white guys. But it’s impolite to point that out to conservatives.

So they will continue to blame ethnic minorities and eliminate even minimal attempts to increase diversity. As a result, attacks on diversity in education and within major corporations have intensified.

For example, the University of Florida has eliminated all its DEI positions and canceled its DEI-related contracts. And the accounting firm PwC has dropped its diversity targets. 

Across the country, DEI funding and staffing are plummeting, “after a two-year boom in the wake of the protests that followed the murder of George Floyd in 2020.”

You remember that whole George Floyd thing, don’t you? It’s like Covid or the collapse of the Trump economy — something that apparently never happened.

In any case, if conservatives get their way and vanquish diversity, we will get rid of all those undeserving ethnic minorities who are messing up everything and provoking every disaster that occurs. Sure, you might argue that many studies have shown that diverse teams perform better than racially homogeneous ones and that companies that embrace diversity get better results.

But I’m sure those studies are wrong. Yeah, they were probably created by some black guy.


Second-draft Blues

Hey, remember that book I was writing? Yeah, you remember.

On certain weeks, I had to skip posting because I was swamped working on the first draft. And then I would just post a rambling apology for not writing a full article and paste up a crazy AI-generated image to distract you.

Speaking of that, look at this:

Yeah, well… this is a little awkward. But I need to take another break this week.

I made my deadline and turned in my first draft (huzzah!). But my publisher got back to me with the inevitable rewrites, so now I need to tackle those. Therefore, I’m not writing a new post this week. Just another apology and crazy image:

I’ll be back next week. Thanks


Potato, Potato

“Embryos, to me, are babies.”

—A GOP moderate

“Crazy extremists, to me, are insane zealots.”

—Me

When not breathlessly discussing the theory that Joe Biden is 819 years old, the mainstream media insists on lecturing progressives about our disdain for the Republican Party.

We need to listen to the other side, we are told, even though the GOP’s agenda consists of throwing yet more money at billionaires, allowing companies to pollute our environment at will, and letting Putin destroy Europe. Oh, and they also “have promised to incarcerate and deport millions of immigrants and children of immigrants, send federal troops into Democratic cities, ban Muslims, silence LGBTQ+ Americans, prosecute journalists, and end abortion across the country.” The result would be “an autocracy in which a powerful leader and his chosen loyalists make the rules under which the rest of us must live.”

Clearly, it’s easy for progressives to find common ground with that worldview, right?

It should be obvious by now that the GOP is a quasi-religious cult. Their core constituency is made up of Christian nationalists, bigots, conspiracy nuts, authoritarian lovers, and people who flunked freshman history. Those conservatives who are none of these things are still willing to go along with the dogmatists because they are scared for their lives, scared of Democrats, or scared of admitting they have been wrong all along.

Moderate Republicans are running for the exits as if a swarm of killer bees is following them, and conservatives who once thoughtfully explained their ideas are now yelling right-wing hyperbole as loudly and rapidly as they can.

Never have “so many people in one party behaved with so little respect for themselves or the nation’s interests at one time.”

There will be no getting along. Hell, even conservatives are yelling, “No peace, bitch!” at one another. So why should progressives be expected to smile as they’re insulted and threatened?

Maybe we can talk if moderate Republicans ever return to take control of their party. Unless that unlikely scenario occurs, we will just endure the lecturing.


Ballots and Bullets

As I may have mentioned, this is an election year.

I also may have said something about how millions of Americans will vote this November for an aspiring despot who wants to crush dissent, abolish democracy, and catapult the nation into a hellhole of authoritarian chaos. But I mumble sometimes, so maybe you didn’t catch it.

In any case, people are taking the inevitable Biden-Trump rematch seriously. Researchers have found that “an overwhelming majority of Americans believe democracy is ‘at risk’ in the upcoming presidential election.” They are correct, of course, because if Republicans regain power, they will burn the country down rather than give it up again.

So it’s a good thing that experienced officials are running our electoral system and focused on making sure the election is fair, accurate, and efficient. Well, at the least the election officials who aren’t running for their lives are focused on that.

You see, “since the 2020 election, state and local officials have faced a surge of violent threats, harassment, and intimidation.” This hostility is primarily from Trump supporters, who accused election officials “of rigging that race and subsequently hounded many out of office.” 

Because so many officials have quit in fear for their lives, more than 20% of election administrators “will be doing the job for the first time in 2024.”

Yes, this is yet another way in which Trump has manhandled the nation, perhaps permanently. Before 2020, “threats against election workers were virtually nonexistent,” but now they are frequent. And the abuse has often been “more severewhen directed at officials who were women, people of color, religious minorities, or LGBTQ.”

Now, you may be saying, “This is all the fault of the woke mob,” or Antifa or whatever imaginary group of progressives that the GOP conjures up as the latest boogeyman.

Well, keep in mind that “support for political violence runs mostly along party lines.” About one-third of Republicanssupport violence as a means to get their way, compared to 13% of Democrats. More specifically, Republicans who like Trump are nearly three times as likely as other Republicans to support political violence.

So yeah, we can safely say it’s that guy’s fault.

In this golden age of political bedlam, America is “grappling with the biggest and most sustained increase in political violence since the 1970s.”

And as bad as the 1970s were, American political violence back then was “perpetrated more often by radicals on the left and focused largely on destroying property.” But the contemporary version of the Symbionese Liberation Army isn’t interested in blowing up an empty bank. Today’s political violence “is aimed at people — and most of the deadly outbursts … have come from the right.”

Basically, you are far more likely to be shot by a neofascist than by an animal-rights activist.

How grim is the potential for carnage during this year’s election season? Well, many election offices have installed “bulletproof glass and security doors amid threats of violence.”

For all of you who thought voting was a dull obligation, that is certainly one way to spice things up.

Welcome to the new version of American democracy.


Metamorphosis (Part 2)

Last week, I wrote about my generation (Gen X) and our political midlife crisis. 

It’s dispiriting how many Gen Xers have reached middle age and basically turned into Baby Boomers.

Consider the following Gen X traits:

Constant whining about how tough we had it

Self-aggrandizement of our resiliency

Sneering contempt for anyone younger than us

A midlife embrace of hatred and bigotry

If any of this is different from the ignorant pronouncements of suburban Boomers in 1979, I don’t see it.

Another trait, the glamorization of our free-range childhoods, is often an excuse for the neglectful parenting many of us received. It’s weird how many Gen Xers boast that our parents didn’t know where we were at night or forgot our birthdays or ignored us 24/7. I’m just going to assume that many of my peers are more honest in their therapy sessions than they are on Facebook comments.

But perhaps our most mythologized characteristic is our supposed ability to take a joke. Really, we cannot shut up about how we never get offended. We apparently possess a steely hide that causes insults and derision to bounce harmlessly off of us.

Oddly, we have not passed this tendency on to our kids. We say that’s because Millennials and Gen Z are wimps. But some of us have the creeping sensation that maybe, just maybe, they are simply nicer people than we are. 

However, it’s much easier to rain disdain upon them for their pathetic displays of empathy. Hell, we go out of our way to offend them. And we do this not to illustrate unpleasant truths, offer keen insights, or toughen them up. We do it because we get the smug satisfaction of offending them. Then we get angry and self-righteous when they get offended.

In truth, middle-aged men mocking people is closer to the behavior of 10-year-olds on the playground than it is to brave truth-tellers seeking honesty.

Punching down is fear that our world is changing. Demanding that everyone laugh at our witticisms is the ultimate old-man behavior. 

Many Gen Xers insist that no matter what horrible things we say, no one can call us out on it, especially if they are younger and all touchy-feely. If they dare to criticize us, we get angry—even offended (which is the real irony).

By the way, not caring about other’s feelings isn’t an admirable trait. It’s a symptom of sociopathy. But let’s say it makes us cool. If we were truly indifferent to others’ outrage, however, we would just say, “You do you.” Instead, it’s “I’m going to make you uncomfortable because I am so pissed off about how my life turned out.”

When did Gen X get so confrontational? When did we get so needy for attention?

When I was younger, I never considered that many of the fun, open-minded guys I hung out with would, decades hence, post unhinged rants about guns, government conspiracies, and immigrant “invaders.”

The question at this point is whether Gen X will help “revive American democracy by coalescing around a bold new political program and bringing the rest of the nation along with them, or [be] another silent generation that stood by as our democracy and society suffered a slow decline.”

Will our eye-rolling cynicism (a very real trait that has its benefits) overwhelm the younger generation? After all, “nearly everything we hoped to change instead grew stronger, meaner, and more entrenched,” which has caused many of us to lean “a little harder into Xer stereotypes of disconnection and cynicism as a result.”

Gen X is smaller than other generations, votes less, and has fewer members in political office. We have long had the reputation of being a bridge generation, more liberal than Boomers and more conservative than Millennials.

But we were the first generation that said homophobia wasn’t cool, that rejected overt racism, and that said maybe climate change was real.

As such, will the final image of Gen X be Trent Reznor, or will it be the Karen?

One thing is certain. Decades from now, when the last living Gen Xer is babbling away in a nursing home, he will rise from his wheelchair—Nevermind CD clutched in one hand, Karate Kid DVD in the other—and scream our manifesto one final time before dropping dead and sending our generation into oblivion.

“Whatever,” he will scream. “Whatever!”


Metamorphosis (Part 1)

We grasp at the tattered, frayed fabric of our identity, especially as we get older.

For Gen Xers like me, barreling into middle age and toward antiquity, we take comfort in the fact that nobody was ever more badass, more cynically cool, more “fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me” than us.

Yeah, I told you about my ex-friend who went from out-and-proud progressive to right-wing promoter of racist conspiracy theories. But she must be an aberration, right?

Well, recent surveys have shown that maybe she isn’t.

You see, Biden’s disapproval rating is highest among Gen X, compared to the other generations. Biden also has the highest “strongly disapprove” rating from Gen X.

Many experts believe that the “one-time flannel-wearing, Pearl Jam-listening and SlackerSingles-watching generation has become much more Republican and conservative than it was in the Obama years.” 

Now, there is much dispute over the definition and measurement of political preferences, generational differences, and survey results.

In fact, some experts insist that “Gen Xers have swung a little more toward the Democratic Party over time.” 

Others say that Boomers are the only generation that is solidly Republican.

In either case, don’t tell me that people just get more conservative as they age. While there is a sliver of truth to that statement, research shows that “political attitudes are remarkably stable over the long term.” The theory that Gen X is voting GOP just because we’re getting older is shaky at best.

So what in the name of 80s glam rock is going on with these survey results?

Well, if there is a Gen X problem for progressives, “it is very likely a white Gen X problem.” Let’s face it. Gen X is less diverse than younger generations. In fact, over 60% of us are white. 

That means I am an ethnic minority within a generational minority. Yes, sometimes I feel like an exotic bird.

In any case, Trumpism is “more likely to resonate with white Gen Xers… than nonwhite individuals.”

My generation’s drift toward MAGA town is a “sustained white Gen X backlash to the social norms and ideals that have been part of our cultural backdrop” since we were kids.

Like me, many of my peers grew up with Sesame Street. But unlike me, they never appreciated the parts where people spoke Spanish.

Now that they are middle-aged, they are pissed off about woke and diversity and, apparently, basic decency.

For example, one Gen Xer told NPR that his preference for Trump stems from how we were “raised where we don’t think there’s anything wrong to say, ‘Is that retarded?’ or ‘Is there a Black guy down the street?’ You know what I’m saying?”

Yes, I know exactly what this man is saying. He is implying that racial paranoia is admirable and that the natural evolution of language and cultural norms is an oppressive force.

Also, the fact that young people frown at our use of the word “retard” means that we Gen Xers have no choice but to vote for a fascist.

Makes perfect sense.

This outrage over new societal standards is prevalent among white Gen Xers, especially men. And as we know, white men of any generation are aggressively right wing. Hey, perhaps the reason so many white Gen X men stormed the Capitol is because the Boomers got winded or had lingering issues from their hip-replacement surgeries.

I have more to say on the disconcerting overlap between Gen X and baby Boomers. But that will wait until next week.

Until then, turn up the Rage Against the Machine and Public Enemy. It might be your last chance.


Deep Insights for Dirt Cheap

It’s that time of the electoral season, when journalists, political scientists, psychologists, and experts in every field (up to and including herbology) spend innumerable hours attempting to figure out what motivates voters.

This is a quest that is never focused on progressives. Apparently, we are easy to figure out. Liberals just want to smuggle a billion undocumented immigrants into America, burn down all the churches, perform forceful abortions on every woman, and make all the guys marry each other. It’s that simple.

But Trump voters? Truly they are a mystery of the modern world.

For example, CNN recently profiled Republican primary voters and included this nugget of pure wisdom: “Trump critics who think his supporters are blindly loyal would benefit from some time in the quarry with McIver, or on the boat with Konchek.”

Well, those are fine all-American names. And in the article, McIver and Konchek come across as admirable, hardworking, humble men.

You see, just like Trump fans will never stop supporting him, the mainstream media will never stop insisting that blue-collar dudes who embrace bigotry and fascism are great guys.

Also, the idea that liberals “would benefit from some time” with Trump supporters reinforces the idea that progressives are obligated to get out of our bubbles, get into that quarry or fishing boat, and work hard to empathize with Trump supporters. 

But we will never ask the same of MAGA. They can go right on screaming that all progressives are pedophiles. To ask Republicans to listen to progressives is ludicrous, even insulting, and we certainly can’t be criticizing conservatives.

The gist of the CNN article is that Republicans are not “blindly loyal” to Trump, and they question some of his actions. But as the article makes clear, they go ahead and vote for him anyway. Seriously, every one of the free-thinking conservatives profiled in the article admits that, come November, they will vote for Trump.

Maybe I’m missing something, but that seems pretty damn loyal to me.

For almost a decade now, media outlets have been straining to portray Trump voters’ motivations as more complex than they actually are.

Mountains of data going back years show that the most accurate indicators of Trump support are racial animosity, a yearning for traditional gender roles, and comfort with authoritarianism.

So if you are racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and love dictators, we have the perfect candidate for you.

Of course, not all Trump supporters possess these unsavory characteristics. There are also those who believe, against all logic and data, that the economy does better under Republican presidents. Others have a mortal fear of liberals. And still others, billionaires mostly, stand to benefit from another Trump administration. 

Christian nationalists also love the guy. But so do hard-core conservatives who want to live in a world where nothing changes, ever. These people are the greatest, in that they espouse a made-up legal philosophy, originalism, that insists Americans can carry heavy weaponry that didn’t exist in colonial times even though in just about every other aspect, we should live exactly like Benjamin Franklin did. It doesn’t matter that most Americans don’t want to live in the 1700s, because originalists demand that we do so.

By the way, no other industrialized nation seems to have this hero worship of their leaders from hundreds of years ago. No other developed country says, “Let’s base our laws on the best guess of how our prime minister who’s been dead for 200 years would rule.”

Another aside: Isn’t it odd that conservatives, who shriek that discussions of civil rights are irrelevant because they originated way back in the 1960s, have adopted a motto that clamors for taking America back to the 1950s? And they are straight-up obsessed with Confederate generals from a century before that. It’s all about picking and choosing from the past for these guys.

In any case, media coverage of Trump supporters is invariably fawning or apologetic. This is not a surprise, since the man himself gets more positive spin than most would-be insurrectionists could ever dream of receiving. 

This is because news outlets are constantly striving to “find something that is genuinely suboptimal about the Democratic candidate and dwell on it endlessly to ‘balance’ coverage of the criminal in charge of the GOP.”

The approach works well for Trump and Republican leaders, who want to convince voters that they are “simultaneously just little guys like us — helpless victims of a liberal police state — and strong, powerful father figures who will protect us from the bad guys.”

It’s quite the balancing act.


An Unsettling Hypothesis 

Many historians believe that Ibn al-Haytham, who lived in present-day Iraq 3,000 years ago, was the world’s first scientist. He invented the pinhole camera, discovered the laws of refraction, and studied natural phenomena such as rainbows and eclipses

And if he lived today, he would be the subject of at least two dozen conspiracy theories and get death threats daily on Facebook.

You see, we Americans are not too fond of science. Oh, we take advantage of its benefits and breakthroughs — everything from the internal combustion engine to aspirin to the internet. But we don’t actually like the concept.

And our disdain for smart people in lab coats has gotten worse since the pandemic, which is not a surprise considering that millions of people still believe that both the virus and its vaccine are hoaxes or government plots.

According to a recent survey, the percentage of Americans who say science has a “mostly positive” effect on society is at 57%, down a staggering 16 percentage points since before the pandemic. And 8% of us think science has a “mostly negative” impact on society. I guess those people are Luddites, Amish, or mad scientists who have seen the error of their ways.

Now, as you can guess, trust in science is not the same across the political spectrum. Republicans have “less confidence in scientists and the benefits of science than Democrats.” In fact, fewer than half of Republicans (47%) say science has a mostly positive effect on society. That’s disturbing enough, but consider that back in the pre-pandemic days (if you can even remember them), about 70% of Republicans had a positive view of science.

That’s an enormous drop-off in such a short amount of time. It further illustrates that the Republican Party’s descent into ignorance has been rapid and decisive. These are people who once thought science was admirable, but they have jettisoned their logic and reason to fall into line behind their mad emperor, who despises people smarter than him.

It also shows how paranoia, fear, and distrust are the GOP’s favorite states of being. There is no such thing as a fringe theory in the modern Republican Party. For example, anti-vaxxers used to be pariahs. But now they are conservative leaders.

Now, this should end the debate over whether Republicans are anti-science. Yes, many liberals have made earnest pleas to respect different points of view and not insult conservatives. This is well-meaning nonsense.

Republicans are basically shouting, “We hate science.” There is no ambiguity here.

For example, the Texas Board of Education, which Republicans lead, recently rejected proposed science textbooks for schools because they contained “too much information about the climate crisis.”

In other words, there was too much science in the science textbooks.

The Republican-majority education board also objected to the textbooks because they “included teachings about evolution but not creationism.” As we know, conservatives “have long pushed textbook publishers to present pseudoscientific concepts like ‘intelligent design as equivalent to well-established scientific theories.”

But it still takes a startling amount of chutzpah to say, “If you don’t teach my religious hokum alongside your well-established scientific facts, I will ban your textbook, and I’ll tell you straight to your face that this was the main reason.”

Is that anti-science enough for you?

The disdain for science has filtered down through conservative leadership to the general populace. Currently, a plurality of Americans believe that God created humans, with evolution having no role at all.

Denying evolution is not an indicator of a well-educated society that respects science.

Speaking of evolution, the latest scientific tidbit that I have found fascinating is the work of ecologists who studied “the unequal distribution of birds and other species” throughout America. They found that the patterns of birds revealed “the impact of bigoted urban policies adopted decades ago.”

Science can reveal a lot to us. If we don’t kick it to the curb first.


Lessons

If your favorite phrase is not “Fuck around and find out,” it should be.

This pithy warning marries the vulgar and profound, the practical and the metaphysical. It also covers a dizzying range of human misbehavior.

Drank too much at the party? Invested in a shady start-up? Asked a rude question? Cheated on your spouse?

In all cases, you know what happened next.

In 2016, America elected a president who was euphemistically called a “political neophyte.” More honest observers referred to him as “total nutjob who should not be allowed to even visit the Oval Office as part of a tour group.”

He led the nation into chaos, death, and economic calamity.

We fucked around and found out.

Now, eight years later, millions of Americans want to take another chance on this unrepentant disaster. These voters are either racists, love authoritarianism, or have suffered grievous blows to the head that have caused massive memory loss.

Maybe these people should heed warnings that their preferred candidate is such a threat to democracy that major media outlets are publishing entire issues analyzing all the ways that his election jeopardizes the nation’s continued existence.

On the other side of the political aisle, maybe Democrats should not be so lackadaisical about the votes of young people, African Americans, and Latinos. Maybe party leaders shouldn’t be so chill about polling that shows their candidate is trailing in multiple demographics, and is leading only among middle-aged suburban dentists in blue states. 

For that matter, perhaps the Democratic Party should realize that their last two candidates have been the most hated woman in America and the oldest person to ever run for president, respectively, offering voters the most uninspiring of choices for three straight elections now.

But no, the Democratic Party seems determined to fuck around and find out.

Future generations of Americans, if there are any, will be mystified that so many theoretically rational people saw catastrophe looming on the political horizon and then, rather than fight it, either accepted it with a shrug or enthusiastically embraced the madness.

These young Americans, struggling to rebuild a shattered nation, will ask why we didn’t do more. They will question our intelligence, morality, and sanity. They will beseech us, in tones that alternate between angry and perplexed, why we insisted on fucking around and finding out.

And we will have no answer.


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