What a time to be alive!

Ha — no, it sucks right now.

But if you live in, say, New England, you will at least get more of this life than your fellow Americans in, for example, Mississippi.

Oh, we all know that blue states consistently outperform red states when it comes to, well, just about everything, including life expectancy.

But did you know that the poorest counties in New England outlive the wealthiest counties in the Deep South and Greater Appalachia by an average of two years?

Yes, if you want to die fast, move to a red state, where “generations of elected officials — most of whom have been Republican in recent decades — have resisted investing tax dollars in public goods and health programs.”

The result is that people in the West Coast’s poorest quartile of counties live 2.4 years longer than those in the richest quartile counties in the Deep South.

Yes, even having money won’t save you in a red state.

But why is this? Well, a recent study implies that conservative, “laissez-faire political leaders tend to create systems that have looser health insurance regulations, leaner Medicaid programs and fewer public and non-profit hospitals.” 

The policies that “can meaningfully change life expectancy” — such as reducing drug overdoses, expanding Medicaid, adopting gun control, and protecting abortion and maternal health — are nonstarters in red states.

Another interesting fact is that in the Deep South, “the region with the distinction of having had the continent’s most repressive formal slave and racial caste systems,” white people have a lower life expectancy than their counterparts in Canada and Western Europe, and they have per capita suicide and psychiatric disorder rates far higher than their Black, Asian or Latino peers.

This is because racist white people “reject policies designed to help the poor and reduce inequality because of animosity toward people of color as well as being unaware that the poor include a great many white people.”

The researchers conclude that “three centuries of formal white supremacy hasn’t served whites very well.”

By the way, we Latinos have much higher life expectancy than whites in America, which researchers call the Hispanic Paradox.

So as a Latino living in California, I am virtually immortal.

How cool is that?