Hispanic Fanatic

Where did this madness originate? 

Some argue that Lyndon Johnson’s signing of civil rights legislation catalyzed the modern conservative movement. Others insist that Nixon’s corruption (which is apparently no big deal in retrospect) created the present-day GOP. And still others (like me, for example) say the roots of our calamity lie in the Reagan Revolution, and that the Gipper really fucked us over in the long run. I’ve also heard commentators identify the ascent of Dan Quayle as the moment that Republicans became un-serious, or the impeachment of Bill Clinton as the launching pad for self-righteous right-wing aggression.

Those are all valid origin stories for the GOP’s current state of hatred, fear, ignorance, and violence.

There is no doubt, however, that the September 11 attacks were the beginning of our modern world. This catastrophe was so cataclysmic, so epoch-defining, that it traumatized people who had no connection to the people or places that suffered devastation. It irrevocably changed our nation.

This week is the 25^th anniversary of this disaster. One might believe this is a solemn time to draw together as a country. But of course, Republicans have no interest in unity, and will use any event, no matter how sacred, to bulldoze a chasm between “us” and “them.”

As you know, several prominent conservatives are demanding that the mayor of New York City, who was duly elected and has high approval ratings, be barred from any September 11 ceremonies because he is way too swarthy and doesn’t eat pork, if you catch my meaning.

It’s bizarre that this is being called a controversy. Because there is nothing “controversial” here. There is no sincere debate or complex argument occurring. There is only unabashed bigotry and the bleating of the politically opportunistic. 

These are loudmouths who are enthralled with nonstop tirades against a changing society. They are hypocritical hatemongers who dismiss every liberal argument as the whining of pampered snowflakes, then insist public ceremonies be altered because they personally feel offended.

These same guardians of American values are not offended, nor even annoyed in the slightest, that their hero, our president of the plummeting popularity, is indulging in a weird form of stolen valor.

Maybe everyone is just used to his constant lying, which brings up the whole issue of why it’s apparently ok for our nation to be held hostage by a man who just makes up crazy shit daily and acts upon it.

That’s one for future historians to ponder.

Now in its fourth century of existence, the United States of America has withstood the birth pangs of violent revolution, a bloody civil war, the enslavement of millions of its residents, the brutal forces of racism and xenophobia, the Great Depression, multiple recessions, the murder of some of its most brilliant leaders, two world wars, Vietnam, Iraq, and the September 11 attacks.

But you know what we can’t possibly endure? You know what would break our back and destroy the nation?

That would be the impeachment of Donald Trump.

Yes, according to many commentators, impeaching the lunatic of Pennsylvania Avenue would be bad for the country, even a “grave injustice.” And plenty of Trump supporters have threatened to “begin a second civil war in the U.S. if President Trump were impeached.”

Even our old friend Nancy Pelosi said “pushing Trump out of office would further ‘divide the country’ and suggested it could do more harm than good.”

Oh, I know that two other presidents have been impeached — one just a couple of decades ago. And nobody ever suggested that trying to remove Bill Clinton from office might result in America’s collapse. Although to be fair, that was all about a blowjob, which is far more of a crisis than silly things like selling out the nation to a homicidal dictator of a hostile country. I mean, it’s about priorities.

And I know that this nation has endured warfare, natural disasters, civil rights outrages, drug epidemics, economic collapses, rioting in the streets, and even the rise of disco (that one really stung). But clearly, we’re just fragile princesses when it comes to the strain of a Senate trail of the president.

It’s best to just avoid the whole thing and go about our business.

After all, we wouldn’t want to upset Trump’s hardcore supporters, who as we know, are a minority of the population, have had their every concern or insecurity elevated to national prominence, and are driven primarily by racism, hatred, fear, and ignorance. No, let’s just kowtow to them even more than we already have.

It’s just a good thing that we’re not implying that if a subsection of America threatens violence, we’ll all give in — oh wait, that’s exactly what we’re implying. Never mind.

Well, at least we’re not saying that corruption, incompetence, and neo-fascist tendencies would actually be rewarded, rather than punished, which is horrifying in both the present and because of its ramifications for future presidents. Check that — I guess we are saying that too.

And we’re certainly, most definitely not saying that all the talk about the rule of law, and the importance of checks and balances, and the sanctity of the Constitution, and the strength of America’s institutions, and the integrity of its very culture — all that is meaningless. Oops, wrong again — we are not just implying that but screeching it from the rooftops.

But still, whatever horrors the Mueller investigation uncovers, we should all just ignore them. Yes, only good things can come from denying reality and appeasing madmen.

We should do this, you know, for America’s sake.